Cheating can be one of the most destructive actions you can take in a relationship. It destroys trust, and trust is often very hard to rebuild. Everyone knows this but people cheat anyway.
So why do people still cheat?
In my practice over the past 30 years, I have seen scores of couples who have come into counseling because of an affair or repeated affairs. Often, an affair is the catalyst that gets the couple working on their relationship. Recovering from breaches of trust is very difficult, and so the work is much harder than it would be if they came into therapy before an affair.
Here are the top reasons why some people can’t stop cheating despite knowing the chaos it is likely to create:
They are impulsive.
Many people are impulsive in lots of areas of their lives. Impulsivity is very common when it comes to sex, especially when people have been drinking or using other mind-altering substances. If the opportunity is available, such people don’t think through the consequences of their actions, they simply act.
Sometimes impulsivity is a symptom of deeper problems. For example, some forms of mental illness have impulsivity as a symptom. In those cases, impulsivity is usually seen in lots of areas of life.