Maybe “lies” about divorce is a bit strong; maybe the words “myths” or “stories” work better. Regardless, there is a lot of pervasive misinformation (and bad advice) about divorce out there. So I’m here to help debunk it—because divorce is hard enough without accidentally making it even harder.
I’ve seen so many people suffer needlessly when trying to learn how to get over a divorce as a result of believing these untruths; if you’re starting over again, don’t let these lies influence you.
I also suffered from divorce recovery lies when I divorced. I believed the notion that all divorces are basically the same AND that I’d get over my divorce more quickly if I didn’t think about it or allow myself to feel much anger about it.
I believed that if I started dating, it meant I must be over my divorce. I didn’t understand that those were such false misconceptions. But I learned the hard way. I don’t want that to happen to you.
There is no one way divorce “should” go. So here are some of the most common false ideas about divorce out there and advice on how to get over a divorce for real. Don’t let these 24 “lies” limit you, your healing, or your truth.
All divorces are basically the same.
Divorces are all different. Laws vary depending on where you live. Your marriage was not like anyone else’s marriage because you and your ex-spouse are two unique individuals. Your divorce will be just as unique as you are.
There might be similarities between your divorce and someone else’s that you can use to help with your divorce recovery, but it won’t be the same.
It takes one year for every four years of marriage to get over your divorce.
False. From my experience as a divorce coach, everyone is different and requires a different amount of time to recover from their divorce. Some people who stayed married for years find it fairly easy to get through their divorce recovery, and others never do, and their hearts feel broken for a long time.
It depends on how much effort you’re willing to invest in yourself and moving on with your life, as to how quickly you’ll start to feel better again.